bridezilla rears her ugly head
I swore I would not become Bridezilla. You know what I mean - one of those brides who insists on the grandest wedding: full on meringue dress, wee relatives as page boys/flower girls, 101 bridesmaids, guest list approaching 500 or more, and obnoxious to the extreme. But there are alarming signs of bridezilla approaching.
1) My list of 'banned' songs
My fiance (ooh check that out) implied that there is something wrong and slightly controlling about giving a DJ a list of songs that are banned from the reception. Can I help it if YMCA, Macarena and Time Warp irritate the hell out of me? I think I have an aversion to songs which require organised dances. And to seeing my parents doing the pelvic thrust. Wrong, in so many ways and on so many levels.
Yet when I informed fiance that he too could add stuff to the list (as it is our wedding) he replied "I'm not Groomzilla" - then 2 minutes later said Meatloaf and Tina Turner are banned. (Good call says I.)
Debating a list of essential songs which will feature some inappropriate ones for our own personal amusement - see here for some ideas.
2) Fighting ban
We all know how family events etc will inevitably turn out. Despite everyone's best intentions, at some point there will be a flashpoint. By no means is my family more volatile than the next - but I am aware that these things will happen. I succesfully pre-empted all bickering Christmas 2000, by reminding all that the following year I would be away in Japan and thus miss Christmas (despite not even having had the interview for the job yet!)
So I feel it is ok - nay, wise - to instill a no fighting during wedding plan talks. Was working so well till this afternoon, when I broke my own rule. But from now on dammit the rule is in place.
3) Theme
Or more specifically colour. You may notice from reading this blog I have a liking for pink and purple. Especially purple in fact. And so many people have pink at their weddings - dresses, flowers, balloons etc so I have decided to pursue the purple route - much to the dismay of (ahem) senior members of the family. Tough says I - my wedding, my colours.
4) Guest lists
Fiance and I have always said we will have a small wedding. SMALL. And there would be two guest lists (which we have dubbed A list and B list).
Now the A list comprises our families, plus assorted partners, and closest friends. I mean people we went to school with, have known for years, that we are close to, and some who even have been like another child to my parents, and me to theirs. The B list is for other friends, colleagues, etc. I think this seems fair and sensible. The A list are invited to the whole shebang while the B list will be invited in the evening.
What we have always said is that we do not want people there who we don't really know and who don't really know us as a couple. This may seem harsh, but it's our day and we want to celebrate it with the people we care about.
Of course this could create some dilemmas further down the line. Obviously we are having to make our guest lists now for something that is happening in 11 and a half months (14 September 2007 being the big day). What do we do if someone on the A list who is currently single gets (seriously) shacked up this year? Is it rude to say "Well I'm sorry but I don't really know Bob, and we want to keep our day to people we know - but why don't they join us in the evening?"
I expect most of our friends will understand. But I swear the politics involved are amazing. Do I invite my grandfather's latest lady friend and risk upsetting my beloved Gran? And do I really want someone I have never ever met there on my special day? God that does sound obnoxious. But you know what I mean?
And badyogi, well spotted. One virtual gold star winging its way to you for attention to detail.
1) My list of 'banned' songs
My fiance (ooh check that out) implied that there is something wrong and slightly controlling about giving a DJ a list of songs that are banned from the reception. Can I help it if YMCA, Macarena and Time Warp irritate the hell out of me? I think I have an aversion to songs which require organised dances. And to seeing my parents doing the pelvic thrust. Wrong, in so many ways and on so many levels.
Yet when I informed fiance that he too could add stuff to the list (as it is our wedding) he replied "I'm not Groomzilla" - then 2 minutes later said Meatloaf and Tina Turner are banned. (Good call says I.)
Debating a list of essential songs which will feature some inappropriate ones for our own personal amusement - see here for some ideas.
2) Fighting ban
We all know how family events etc will inevitably turn out. Despite everyone's best intentions, at some point there will be a flashpoint. By no means is my family more volatile than the next - but I am aware that these things will happen. I succesfully pre-empted all bickering Christmas 2000, by reminding all that the following year I would be away in Japan and thus miss Christmas (despite not even having had the interview for the job yet!)
So I feel it is ok - nay, wise - to instill a no fighting during wedding plan talks. Was working so well till this afternoon, when I broke my own rule. But from now on dammit the rule is in place.
3) Theme
Or more specifically colour. You may notice from reading this blog I have a liking for pink and purple. Especially purple in fact. And so many people have pink at their weddings - dresses, flowers, balloons etc so I have decided to pursue the purple route - much to the dismay of (ahem) senior members of the family. Tough says I - my wedding, my colours.
4) Guest lists
Fiance and I have always said we will have a small wedding. SMALL. And there would be two guest lists (which we have dubbed A list and B list).
Now the A list comprises our families, plus assorted partners, and closest friends. I mean people we went to school with, have known for years, that we are close to, and some who even have been like another child to my parents, and me to theirs. The B list is for other friends, colleagues, etc. I think this seems fair and sensible. The A list are invited to the whole shebang while the B list will be invited in the evening.
What we have always said is that we do not want people there who we don't really know and who don't really know us as a couple. This may seem harsh, but it's our day and we want to celebrate it with the people we care about.
Of course this could create some dilemmas further down the line. Obviously we are having to make our guest lists now for something that is happening in 11 and a half months (14 September 2007 being the big day). What do we do if someone on the A list who is currently single gets (seriously) shacked up this year? Is it rude to say "Well I'm sorry but I don't really know Bob, and we want to keep our day to people we know - but why don't they join us in the evening?"
I expect most of our friends will understand. But I swear the politics involved are amazing. Do I invite my grandfather's latest lady friend and risk upsetting my beloved Gran? And do I really want someone I have never ever met there on my special day? God that does sound obnoxious. But you know what I mean?
And badyogi, well spotted. One virtual gold star winging its way to you for attention to detail.
posted by koochan @ 10:45 pm
3 Comments:
At 2/10/06 23:31,
BadYogi said…
1 - Inappropriate songs should include "Don't want to fall in love," "Black liner run," and "these things" by She Wants Revenge. Come to think of it, anything by She Wants Revenge is wildly inappropriate and awesome. Also perhaps "never let you go" by INXS, "rebel yell" by Billy Idol, "when the sun goes down" by the arctic monkeys, "bang and blame" by REM, and of course "Mr Brightside" by the Killers. More ideas to follow, I'm sure. Oooooh, and don't forget that Madonna classic, "Papa don't preach." And also "Like a Virgin." You simply must have "Like a virgin." I could go on all night, and probably will, on my own space.
As for banned songs: The only opinion I will ever voice on your wedding is to please, please, please, ban Celine Dion.
2 - The Fighting Ban: Hope springs eternal, I see.
3 - Theme: If all else fails, feel free to scare senior members of family by pointing out that if it were my wedding, the theme would likely be black and camo or some such. It is of course a wild exaggeration, but that ought to shut them up for a few minutes while they count their blessings.
4 - Guest list: I'll email you seperately, as it's a sticky issue...
At 3/10/06 01:22,
BadYogi said…
Oh man! "Total Eclipse of the Heart!" How could I possibly have overlooked that one?
God, I don't deserve my iPod...
At 3/10/06 20:42,
koochan said…
oh yes, Like a Virgin is already on the list... ;)
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